What does it all mean?

So, I met someone since coming here. I've been really excited and nervous about it. He is the brother of a friend of mine. I've been thinking all morning about how I want to phrase this blog. There are alot of things that I am unsure about. Where he stands is one of those things. I used to think that I understood men. That they were simple creatures whose thoughts were typically limited to certain topics and ideas that were generally much less complicated than women. Men for me are much easier to understand than women. I enjoy spending my time with guys over girls. I get guys. I like beer and bullshit... I like being goofy. You can drink beer and bullshit and be goofy with guys in a way that you can't be with girls. I thought I understood how men work. It has been made clear to me by this guy that I have no idea what I'm talking about.

The thing about this whole situation is that to me liking this guy is a big deal. Sure he's kind of obnoxious but if you have met any guy I have ever dated he's less obnoxious than they were. He's like a big kid. Which is both a good and bad thing. But that's neither here nor there. The point is, he's the first guy I've liked since Nick. He's the first guy I've wanted to spend alot of time with since Nick. He's the first guy to kiss me since Nick... I know that for many guys the desire to kiss someone can be less about the person and more about the physcial contact. But guys that are like that don't take the 30 min car ride to take you home when you could just as easily take the train.
I'm not sure how he is thinking. One minute I am sure that there is something there and then the next I think I must have no idea what's going on. He told his brother's gf that we are like oil and water... But we've been spending alot of time together and he goes out of his way for me. He thinks that he bugs me... He does, but not as much as he thinks he does. He either knows that I like him and is not interested or he has no clue. I don't have any idea what he is thinking. I don't know him well enough to. But I do know this, I like this guy, and have no idea if he likes me. I get nervous around this guy, he makes me want to try.
If being with Nick has taught me anything, it is that I am not in control of other people, no matter how much my control freak nature would allow me to believe. Maybe I am pushing things, maybe I should just sit back, take a break from spending all of my free time with him and see what he does. Maybe I need to go on the date with that other guy that I keep putting off. Maybe I should have given my number to that guy at that party that we went to on the 4th. Maybe I don't understand men the way I thought I did.
I hope he looks up this blog. I hope he reads it. He'll know its about him. I hope I don't make a fool of myself if he does. Lord knows I don't need any help doing that. We'll see what happens. His brother and his brother's gf are hoping that we get together. I don't know... Maybe when I prayed for patience God had a different plan for giving it to me.

In other news, I still haven't found a church yet. I miss Mosaic so much. I miss the fellowship, and the love. I skipped church last Sunday and didn't even feel bad. I need to find a new family and soon!